Steve Lowry

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Posts by Steve Lowry

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  38

  The Watchtower guilt machine is indeed a powerful tool

  by Nocturne in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i haven't posted as much here as i've wanted these past few weeks, but i've spent most of my time lurking here, or in chat.

  for the last few 2 months roughly, every meeting i attended became extremely painful to endure, such that i would come up with excuses to miss as many as possible.

  but there are 2 events that really gave me a swift kick to wake me up and realize that things had to change.

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  Steve Lowry

  Hey Noc.,

  Ya know, there is just no graceful way to leave the Watchtower Society. When you let them know you?ll no longer be a JW, it?s ?lights out? for you. You will also no doubt be "demonized" by the group. You are also prolly correct in your assumption that you will loose all your friends when they get the news, as well as some family members (if you have any besides your mom). And you should also brace yourself with the possibility that your relationship with your mom may also suffer. It will depend on her of course and how much love she has for you verse her love and loyalty for the Watchtower Society. Some quick advice here, don?t argue with your mom about the Watchtower Society. Try to avoid all dialogue with her regarding the JW faith. It only seems to aggravate the situation. And also, by not being pulled into such conversations with her, you will maintain control instead of her. You will now have to become the parent. You are now wiser than she is. It?s a sad revelation, but you are now the parent and she is the child. Try to remember this concept when she tries to "teach" you of your "bad" decision to leave the group. You know better. You don?t have to convince her that your decision is appropriate. You know it is. You don?t need her approval in this area. There?s power in this awareness.

  I think when we come to realize the reasons behind the way that people act the way they do, it helps us to gain insight into human behavior and thereby gives us peace. The whole shunning thing is just a cultic protectionism maneuver. That?s all it is. It serves to keep the masses ignorant (JW?s in this case) from the ?outsider?, by demonizing the outsider and diminishing anything the outsider may have actually learned and then tries to share with the group. It?s a simple controlling technique, and it works pretty well too. But knowing and realizing that this is just a cultic tactic, it tends to help the one who has left the group achieve an understanding of why he or she is being ?shunned?, and (I believe) helps the one to have peace about the whole process. When we maintain the proper perspective on this shunning business, it doesn?t have to have all the negative emotional feelings attached to it (guilt, shame, embarrassment, fear, regret, rage, etc.) that it is intended to have on the one who leaves. This doesn?t take away the pain of lost relationships (which will no doubt be cast aside), but it makes its much easier to accept what is happening, without all the other unnecessary feelings confusing the situation.

  Good luck to you Noc.,

  Steve
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  59

  Idiotic things only a jw would say

  by micheal in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a c.o in one of his friday night talks noticed when he was invited for meals at the brothers and sisters homes that everyone has their chairs and sofa's pointed at the direction of the television set and asked why do people do that.

  then he went on to strongly suggest that everyone change this and either have their furniture pointed somewhere else or get rid of the television.

  what a total moron!!

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  Steve Lowry

  My mom, "Steve, there's just a little time left". (Pre-1975)

  "Even the apostles we wrong sometimes."

  Stupid defense used by JW's when trying to protect the Watchtower Society's image concerning "little" things like false predictions and past policies such as the ban on organ transplants.

  "Iggy dolls are demonized!"

  Silly little troll like dolls that became a fad back in the sixties.

  "If you have a cross in your house, that's like an open invitation to demons!"

  We had a JW lady who lived next door that upon realizing that the face of the gas controls on her stove had two crossing lines that looked a little like a cross, she scratched them out. I'm not making this shit up, man! Whata dumbass.

  "Steve, you just need to sit down with a brother and start to study again." I once made the natural mistake of sharing some stressful events in my life with my JW mom. I was no longer a JW at the time and I guess this was her opportunity to plug the Watchtower Society. I never confided in her again after that. This is one area of my life that I feel like was stolen from me. I haven't had the benefit of a mother's advice due to the nonsensical headset created for her by the WBTS.

  "There won't be any need for doctors in the new system, so there's no need to go to school to become one." What was told to my JW friend's older brother (Pre-1975) who wanted to become a doctor. His parents could afford the tuition but the elders told them that this wouldn't please Jehovah and the boy needed to put that time in service instead going and wasting his time at school. I overheard this whole conversation at the Hall one day, and the boy just sat there and cried. Today he would have been in practice for a quarter of a century. So much for dreams. Stupid bastards (elders).

  "I went to the store today and all these people around me were dead." A comment made by mom to me, after coming home from the grocery store one day. Meaning, that they were all to be dead shortly, due to 1975.

  There's more but this all I can think of now.
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  20

  The fall out of shunning

  by unbeliever in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my mom has shunned my df'd sister for 10+ years.

  my brothers and i are not baptised and she will have a relationship with us even though its very strained.

  we have gotten together a few times over the years and had a meal together that mom cooked.

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  Steve Lowry

  If I were in your shoes, I would invite both sister and mother for dinner, and see who shows up. I would refuse to attend any dinner that did not invite all members of the family equally. What happens then, is that the shunner becomes the shunnee - left out of events by their own will.

  This is good advice here for you, unbeliever. It?s all about disarming and modifying negative behavior. By following this example, you disarm your mother's arrogance and give her the option to modify her own negative behavior by electing (or not) to come to YOUR house for the family get-together. Also, I think you must stay consistent with your approach. There should no family activities that you should be involved with (cruise, etc.) where the daughter who is being shunned is excluded. Of course your mom is most prolly gonna feel like she is just being persecuted for her faith, and in a strange way will prolly feel some "spiritual" satisfaction which may only feed her resolve, but what can you do? If someone is hell bent on doing something wrong, wild horses can?t keep him or her from their fate.

  Good Luck,

  Steve
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  39

  This is just weird

  by IronGland in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/index.htm.

  theres more if you're interested

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  Steve Lowry

  I'm sorry, but the guy (Jesus) just just looks like some beatnick out of a 1950's movie to me.
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  38

  Is the Devil making you happy, too?

  by littletree in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is my first post, and i'm so excited (i've been reading posts on this site for over a year now; i tried to register back in october 2003, but had some problems.

  i decided to just go ahead and use my "real" work e-mail address, which seemed to have worked.

  just for a short introduction- i got baptized at 14, on september 1, 2001. and on september 1, 2003, the last day of our district convention, i decided i was never going back.

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  Steve Lowry

  I can't tell you how much I enjoyed reading your testimony littletree (yea, 'little' like a freakin' full grown oak!) How wonderfully happy you sound, and you should be too! I have talked to hundreds of former JW's over the years and they all are so happy to be free of the shackles of the Watchtower Society. I remember the night I got up and walked out of the Kingdom Hall (right in the middle of their service!) for the last time. To this day I get a smile on my face when I recall that feeling of freedom that I felt, and that was twenty-five years ago. It only gets better from here on out. Sure, there will most prolly be shunning in your future, but you don?t sound like the type to be bullied or intimidated very easily. Just keep coming here for support and encouragement. We?ll help you anyway we can.

  I'm very existed for you and your newfound life!

  Steve
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  51

  Internet...the best revenge against the Watchtower

  by DevonMcBride in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for over 100 years the watchtower was used to getting their way.

  they had complete control over their faithful members and those who left had no voice to speak out.

  the law was on their side protecting their teachings.

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  Steve Lowry

  I'm very encouraged by your post, BOA. It seems the other night in chat, that you became aggitated after I asked you some tough questions about leaving the group and possibly showing the way to others in your family. I am fully awre that this is by NO means an easy task and I repsect your decision to move forward. After that encounter I realize that the chat room may not be the place to get into this kind of dialogue with folks, so in the future when in chat, I'll wait for others who may be questioning to start the dialogue about thier personal struggles with the watchtower Society. Anyway, I meant no offense at my questions to you, I just think it was ill timed.

  Good luck,

  Steve
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  8

  Has anyone here been caught?

  by new light in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i want to post my picture here, but something holds me back.

  i am not df'd or da'd, and my whole family is in, so i do have something to lose if i am caught being a wt opposer.

  basically, i'm trying to assess the risk factor here.. has anyone been "caught" because of posting their face on this forum?

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  Steve Lowry

  Wow, I'm usually the last person to advise caution about coming out of the Watchtower Society and taking a public stand against it. But if all you want to do is post your picture, then it seems to me you put yourself in a position where you have everything to loose and nothing to win. What do you gain by posting your photo?
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  51

  Internet...the best revenge against the Watchtower

  by DevonMcBride in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for over 100 years the watchtower was used to getting their way.

  they had complete control over their faithful members and those who left had no voice to speak out.

  the law was on their side protecting their teachings.

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  Steve Lowry

  Scoob,

  I have to repsectfully disagree with you on this one, if understnad the point correctly that you are making that is. As to how damaging the Internet has been to the Watchtower Society, I must say that it has a profound effect. I have read many testimonials as to people (JW's) discovering information about the WBTS (via the Internet) that provided them ability to see things clearly (as if for the first time) and then to subsequently leave the group. I believe the Internet may in fact be the singularly biggest device in freeing those shackled to the mighty WBTS today. Active JW's who may be questioning can gather all kinds of information about the WBTS without fear of reprisal. Many who come here (I believe) are such one's as these. Before the Internet, folks like this, simply weren't privy to this kind of valuable information.

  Footnote:

  Now, do I believe the Internet will actually 'bring down' the WBTS? No, I don't. But it has caused it to stumble and has cost it many "publishers". And no one can tell ultimately what ripple effect can come from it. Any kind of damage you can inflict on a cultic group like this, is a plus.
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  14

  Do you still struggle with a negative world view?

  by new light in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well-trained jws tend to view all current events in relation to armageddon.

  they see the world as having no hope of improvement, and view all efforts to improve our home as a waste of time.

  have you totally broken free of this destructive viewpoint?

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  Steve Lowry

  Well of course the WBTS uses the carrot/stick thing to grease its own engine. It teaches it's followers to view the world as a doomed and scarey place, then offers IT'S solution to give the follower peace. You take away the WBTS and all the JW has left is the doom feeling. Yea, I had to deal with this for a while myself. But I've learned that all this is, is trained hopelessness. This of course is just another cultic tactic to keep membership intact. Once you began to take control of your own life (without the WBTS), you relaize that YOU can make a difference.

  I like what I saw on a sign once that said, "The only way to guarantee your future, is to create it!"
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  13

  Speaking of Shunning

  by North Girl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for those who don't know me i've never been jw but am interesting in understanding.

  anyways, i was wondering when you were a practicing jw and you had to shun people, deep down how did you feel?

  did you feel right in doing so or did you always know that it wasn't right?

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  Steve Lowry

  I never even was aware of the whole shunning thing growing up a JW. There was only one person that I knew of that got Df'd, and we never saw him again. I was pretty young then and if I had of seen him out and about I would have prolly been scared of him becuse of the way the Watchtower Society demonizes those who leave. But, as a young adult I recal friend of mine's sister who was the sweetest girl I ever knew and not a hurtful bone in her body, get publically reproved from the podium one night. It shamed her and her entire family. They never came back to our Hall. Man, I never seen anyting like that. To have someone stand up there and humiliate my friend that way. I was mad as hell that they had done this thing. It was wrong. It really opened my eyes to what I aligned myself with and I believe it helped me in my leaving a little later on.

  Steve